Graceful

If we've not met in person, you may not know that I'm not the most graceful person around. If we've met in person, you definitely know that.

I've split open my knee falling off a diving board, split my lip running (and I mean running) into a sliding glass door, fallen down stairs, gotten in more car wrecks (only one my fault!) than anyone I know, and other miscellaneous disasters over the past 27 years. 

I'm also a dropper. You name it, I'll drop it. Like this full cup of coffee on the floor yesterday.


I did the same thing at Target about a month ago and was beyond mortified. I started digging baby wipes out of my purse but it was beyond what wipes can handle. They brought out the mop and I tried to bury myself under the bath towels and die.

So there was the coffee drop in the morning, followed by a giant broken trash bag in the afternoon, a broken bowl later in the day, followed by dipping the ends of my hair in the toilet when I was trying to help Liv finish up in the bathroom. 

Like I said, graceful. 

Unfortunately, Olivia has inherited my bad luck and lack of coordination. Steph goes so far as to call her Olivia Grace, despite that not being her middle name. 

I like to say that it's not my fault. I got my first stitches at six days old thanks to a cyst around my right adrenal gland that left me with a whopper of an abdominal scar (that's in just the right place to create a faux fat roll) and I just haven't stopped dropping things and racking up the injuries since. My most recent is a super sexy burn along my right hand courtesy of my new curling wand. 

So what's a girl to do? Buy a replacement cup of coffee (or six), keep a first aid kit in my car, and move along. Tomorrow's got to be less clumsy, right?

10 comments:

  1. I am cracking up at the toilet dip! I bet the six day old surgery was terrifying for your parents to go through. Here's to being clumsy and messy, because otherwise things would be too boring :)

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  2. That is TOO funny that Steph calls Olivia, Olivia Grace. A guy I dated in high school jokingly called me Grace because I was the exact opposite most of the time, lol!:) Hey, it makes life more interesting. And it definitely makes you so relateable;)

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  3. This is just so relatable.. We won't get into all of the broken bones, concussions or random messes I've suffered through due to clumsiness, but I will say I broke my arm, the second time, walking around in circles while talking on the phone and watering the grass.
    What would life be without embarrassing messes & hair dips in the toilet? Haha :)

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  4. I love these posts, because you are never afraid to be real, and don't portray yourself as "perfect" 24/7. I pulled the same drop move last week when walking into my office building. fresh starbucks iced coffee, all over the ground. I hadn't even taken a sip. #firstworldproblemsarereal.

    ps. blogger is messing up for me so if you get 3 comments, I apologize!

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  5. I feel your pain, literally! At any given time, I have about half a dozen bruises on me that I got from whoknowswhere and sadly, my daughter is just as bad. Like she has been standing still, taken one step and fallen over. Proudly keeping our insurance company in business!

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  6. so yes, I can totally relate...I was the only girl in my family growing up and also the only one who had to get stitches in my face 3 separate times. To this day, I have bruises on my body that have no explanation....my husband asks me all the time how they got there and I honestly have no clue. Clumsy is an understatement....so I totally feel ya.

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  8. I laugh at this only because I completely understand. Like many of the the other ladies have said it happens to the best of us! My claim to fame is walking into walls and other inanimate objects (some that have been in the same place for years!) The other big one is paper cuts, my office health and safety committee has pretty much given me my own special box of band aids.

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  9. I was right there with you when I grabbed the last two iced brewed coffees at the grocery and totally dropped one to have it spill all over the milk isle. My husband also refuses to trust these butterfingers around anything sharp or hot. : /

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  10. lol i feel your pain.. my legs always have at least one or two bruises bc im constantly walking into things :( xo jillian - cornflake dreams

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