Mother's Day of Crazy

Ever have something you look forward to for the longest time and then when it rolls around you get cold feet? It's what happened when I finally started dating my boyfriend Sophomore year in high school and what happened when Liv started Mother's Day Out today.

For months I've been waiting for her to turn two so I could have some time to work, eat lunch without a lap child, and maybe squeeze a solo grocery trip in there. Between her Energizer level of energy and Ryans 70 hour work weeks, I haven't been able to get dressed or go pee without a little sidekick in I don't know how long. Don't tell me I don't have big dreams.

Then last night rolled around and I told Ryan that never mind, she didn't need to go, she could just live with us forever and never go to college or anywhere else. Rational is my middle name.

So I did what I do when I'm anxious. 

Over prepared.

I made sure she had everything packed in advance, double checked it seven times, made her lunch and cut her quesadilla into a heart shape, which she would obviously know meant I loved her so much and wasn't just abandoning her with total strangers.

I thought the drop off would be hardest for her so I snuck out while her back was turned, and then cried in the car because I had abandoned her and didn't even say good bye to her. I feel like this is the part where I should mention that I'm historically pretty anxious and it's not super well managed at this time....even Steph knew I was at risk for losing it. 

(bloody face is referring to the accident, just in case you were wondering, although pore refining face masks freak her out too.)

So I a ton done, which is the point right? I cleaned, ate a leisurely lunch, and realized that I'd never been alone in our house before. Never.

Not only have I never been alone in our house, but I haven't spent 5 hours alone in over 2 years. I've spent 5 hours without Olivia, but I've been with Ryan or my mom or someone else. It was totally weird and seeing the playroom all clean really threw me for a loop. 

So at 2:30 I rolled on up to Mother's Day Out, braced for whatever and my kid just runs up to me "Hi, Mama!", climbs into the carseat and asks me for a cake pop.

You can insert my stunned face emoji here.

Apparently I was the only one who cried. She loved it, like everyone and their brother told me she would and I took it hardest.

She brought me three pieces of "art" and her little daily report card. Note the "no" next to nap. Shocker.

I asked her if she had fun at school and she said "sure" which is about as effusive a positive response as you're going to get out of her lately. She's a lot more enthusiastic when it comes to "no", but I digress.

Long story short? I was unnecessarily worried (as usual) and she loved it. I'm thinking I'm going to really let loose on Thursday and maybe schedule a dental appointment. It's going to get wild around here.


  1. I know exactly how you feel! Sydney's first day of school, I was a mess! She was in the hospital that morning for an endoscopy, but she was done in time for school! So we got back home, got dressed, took the obligatory first day of school pics, and went to her school. I was expecting huge hugs and tears and a prolonged good-bye. NOPE! She literally ran in and forgot to say bye to me or Chris because she was so excited!

  2. I'm so happy she loved it!! I just signed P up for preschool in the Fall & am already freaking out

  3. I'm worried I'm gonna be the same way! He's starting preschool this fall. All it is is 3 hours, 2 days a week but I know the night before I'll be like oh forget it, he can start next year! Sounds like she had fun! Did she end up crashing and napping when she got home? Wouldn't that be cool to get 5 hours and then a long nap?? Love the heart sandwich too!

  4. Glad it went well! I'm signing my daughter up in fall when she's 2, she has horrible separation anxiety so i know we need to get ahead of it before we're the mom/daughter crying duo at kindergarten :) My daughter is a nightmare without naps (like terrifying) so the napping situation will be interesting, ha! Keep the stories coming, I get anxious thinking about it so it's nice to have someone I can "relate" to.

  5. I knew it!!!! at this age, they need their time too!!! to be with friends and i soley think that a classroom structure is crutial.

    so is this a 1 day week program or several?

    but isn't the running to you saying hi mama and getting a big hug worth it!! i love picking up!!!!

  6. Glad to hear that her first day went well! The heart quesadilla is so cute!

  7. So glad she loved it! I remember when my nephew started preschool ( I've watched him since he was 3 months old) I felt the same way I wanted to sit in the parking lot for 3 hours just in case he needed me lol it was so weird to not be with him and I spent a lot of time at target lol big surprise

  8. I'm so glad she loved it and had fun! I would have been a mess just like you! It sounds nice to have a morning to yourself, but I don't even know what I would do with myself, I haven't been alone for that long in ... we'll sine before the munchkin was born nearly two years ago. I hope you both enjoy Mother's Day Out next time!

  9. This totally reminds me of the first day my daughter went to daycare full time...i went home to cry my eyes get the idea. But, what I can assure you is that they have such good time there with their little friends and in the future months you'll witness Livia growing up so quickly:)) Good luck to both of you! and God bless all the worrying mothers.

  10. How wonderful that Liv had such a smooth first day at MDO! I know what you mean about sneaking our and then feeling so guilty you didn't say goodbye. A couple of friends and I recently started something smiler (we're taking turns watching all the kids for a couple of hours once a week). I felt SO bad for not giving a kiss and saying goodbye, but she handled it so well next time I think I can say a proper goodbye and not worry about a freakout. And now you have me wondering the last time I was in our house alone. Maybe when I was still pregnant? What a weird concept that would be now. ;)

    xx Viv at JoieDeViv


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