Ever have something you look forward to for the longest time and then when it rolls around you get cold feet? It's what happened when I finally started dating my boyfriend Sophomore year in high school and what happened when Liv started Mother's Day Out today.
For months I've been waiting for her to turn two so I could have some time to work, eat lunch without a lap child, and maybe squeeze a solo grocery trip in there. Between her Energizer level of energy and Ryans 70 hour work weeks, I haven't been able to get dressed or go pee without a little sidekick in I don't know how long. Don't tell me I don't have big dreams.
Then last night rolled around and I told Ryan that never mind, she didn't need to go, she could just live with us forever and never go to college or anywhere else. Rational is my middle name.
So I did what I do when I'm anxious.
I made sure she had everything packed in advance, double checked it seven times, made her lunch and cut her quesadilla into a heart shape, which she would obviously know meant I loved her so much and wasn't just abandoning her with total strangers.
I thought the drop off would be hardest for her so I snuck out while her back was turned, and then cried in the car because I had abandoned her and didn't even say good bye to her. I feel like this is the part where I should mention that I'm historically pretty anxious and it's not super well managed at this time....even Steph knew I was at risk for losing it.
(bloody face is referring to the accident, just in case you were wondering, although pore refining face masks freak her out too.)
So I worked...got a ton done, which is the point right? I cleaned, ate a leisurely lunch, and realized that I'd never been alone in our house before. Never.
Not only have I never been alone in our house, but I haven't spent 5 hours alone in over 2 years. I've spent 5 hours without Olivia, but I've been with Ryan or my mom or someone else. It was totally weird and seeing the playroom all clean really threw me for a loop.
So at 2:30 I rolled on up to Mother's Day Out, braced for whatever and my kid just runs up to me "Hi, Mama!", climbs into the carseat and asks me for a cake pop.
You can insert my stunned face emoji here.
Apparently I was the only one who cried. She loved it, like everyone and their brother told me she would and I took it hardest.
She brought me three pieces of "art" and her little daily report card. Note the "no" next to nap. Shocker.
I asked her if she had fun at school and she said "sure" which is about as effusive a positive response as you're going to get out of her lately. She's a lot more enthusiastic when it comes to "no", but I digress.
Long story short? I was unnecessarily worried (as usual) and she loved it. I'm thinking I'm going to really let loose on Thursday and maybe schedule a dental appointment. It's going to get wild around here.