A Big 'Ol High Five

I've been known to come on here a time or two (or a dozen) and talk about my struggles with motherhood, balance, and sanity. So much of the time it feels like I'm doing it wrong, going to lose my mind, or that I'm not measuring up and you ladies are always right there with exactly the right words, solidarity, and some humor so I don't feel like I'm the only one with a kid who threw a full bag of goldfish at a cashier. 

Yesterday, though, I nailed it. Ok, so nailed is a strong word, but I had one of those days where the balance was right. It just worked. I don't think it's that I did much different, but my attitude was in a much better place. I found this article the other day about being ok just doing doing "ok" as a parent and it resonated with me.

Yes, yes we all want to be great parents. No one gets pregnant and says "I really hope to be a mediocre caregiver to this fragile new life".  Everyone wants to knock it out the park, have every day be a parenting slam dunk, and once I realized that just wasn't realistic, things got better and it clicked for me. 


Yesterday I had a ton of work to do. I was staring down the barrel of over 100 pieces that needed to be made, and two hours of nap time wasn't going to be enough. So I camped Olivia out in the playroom with Daniel Tiger on the tv, a cup of blueberries and cheerios in her lap, and worked. 

Enter the mom guilt. 

Screen time! Learning disabilities! iPad parenting! Bad mom! I know, I know.

BUT.

I got some work done and after her nap I was present. I took her to the playground for well over an hour, we stacked blocks, we read books, and she even ate a whole apple slice AND a smoothie. Healthy food? Check. Fresh air? Check. Work done? Check. 


That's a win for me. 

It has to be. Because my kid hates fruits and vegetables and loves the damn iPad, so a screen time free, all organic food day is never going to happen for us. So when an entire smoothie makes it past her sassy little lips and I get my butt outside to play with her, I give myself a big 'ol high five. 


If I gave up WC and had unlimited time to dedicate to her, I still don't think I'd do a "better" job. She'd still hate vegetables so I'd still be sneaking them into smoothies, I'd still be tired/exasperated/desperate for a few quiet minutes and want to turn on PBS Kids.  Maybe then I'd feel even guiltier because I have all kinds of time to make our days Pinterest perfect and they still wouldn't be. Who knows. 

I'm going to be the mom who occasionally stuffs a cake pop from Starbucks in her sticky little hand so I can pick up toilet paper (and every gosh darn seasonal item) from Target in peace. I'm going to be the mom who turns on the tv at 7 because her 8:00 bedtime is an eternity of an hour away. I'll also keep trying with the healthy foods, try to put the stupid phone away and be present, and recognize that every day is a chance to do it better and that if it's not better, that's ok too. 

I will continue to whisper yell in the grocery store. I will continue to bribe, negotiate, and ultimately pin her with both elbows to change a diaper. I will continue to call her daily fiber supplement "candy" and tell her that she can have what she wants in "one minute" an infinite number of times. I will probably continue to wish I could burrow a hole in the floor when I finally toughen up and tell her "no" and she goes postal at the crowded playground . 

I'll also cut myself some slack. I'm a total novice at this. It will get easier and harder and better and worse each day. I'll get tougher, I'll find more ways to make veggies taste good and get better at making my work time more efficient. There aren't enough hours to sleep as it is, let alone losing sleep to mom guilt. I'm also trying really hard not to pass my neuroses and stressful tendencies on to her, so this seems like a good place to start. 

So there's a little bit of my heart and soul early on a Tuesday morning. Light reading, right? 


17 comments:

  1. Love this, Meghan! Totally sharing it :) I couldn't agree more!! Xo

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  2. Great post and you definitely deserve a high five! I often find that when I get no me time that I'm more apt to just be sort of present all day. So I think that by taking that time and then being super present in the afternoon is so much better. And I'm gonna be that mom you described too! No use feeling guilty about it!

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  3. Whisper guilt. I had to stifle a laugh, since the sun isn't up yet and I can't wake my precious sleeping child.

    You're a wonderful mother, with a business. Don't beat yourself up for it, because in the end, no one is a perfect mother.

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  4. Thanks for being honest and awesome. Love reading blogs but so many others make me feel like a shit mom (wait their kid is the same age as mine and they wear perfect white clothes, say 10 billion words and are learning multiple languages in daycare?? And we snuggled and watched frozen yesterday without talking, have I failed my 15 month old??) sorry rant, you keep it real and I appreciate that.

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  5. You know, i've also recently learned that 30 minute cartoon watching and occasional candies are really not the end of the world, we all need to cut ourselves some slack. You are doing a great job!

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  6. You're a badass. Thank you for being real, it really is a breath of fresh air in a world of "perfect mommy bloggers." I dont even have a child yet but I really enjoy your posts on motherhood. And just remember, we were toddlers during a time when lunchables were considered healthy and the nobody even cared if anything was organic and we turned out okay!!

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  7. Hahaha I had these thoughts when we came back from trick or treating and she wanted chocolate and didn't want dinner. I just said yes, you can have two chocolate for dinner. WHAT in the world?! I couldn't believe myself. But she was happy and she is still alive, then during the week I sneak kale in her smoothie too. Don't worry, WE are doing great as moms!

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  8. Thankyou for this post! Makes me feel better that the iPad takes over our life sometimes.

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  9. Great post. I don't have kids but SO appreciate your honesty and candor when it comes to motherhood. Cheers to another day full of small victories!

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  10. Right on! And the quiet yelling...you know it!

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  11. I love reading your blog! You keep it so real it's refreshing! Like others have mentioned it gets so overwhelming reading some of these other mommy blogs out there when they try to portray this perfect life and staged photos. I have a 17 month old and motherhood is frickin hard some days! But it is really the best job in the world! You daughter is happy and healthy and you've got a good business and blog going! Keep up the good work!

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  12. I love everything about this! It's so easy to try to be that "pinterest perfect" mom - but that doesn't exist. This is such a good reminder that it okay to try and sneak those veggies in [I really need to try a veggie smoothie], for them to watch one or more shows, and to bribe with a cake pop. Most of my days look like this one, and I'm not running an awesome business like you are. You are doing an amazing job being her mama! I know she loves you, how could she not?!

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  13. Amen sista! Everything about this post is perfect and we are all doing a great job!

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  14. You are just rocking and rolling with your posts lately, girlfriend! Love it! And we're all doing the best we can every single day. I'm sure of it. ;) High five to you for you loving what you're doing instead of thinking about what you're not doing...perspective is the best!

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  15. You deserve a big ol' high five for sure! If I could manage to get a smoothie and any kid of veggie into my toddler's mouth in a day I'd be so proud of myself. You're doing an amazing job!

    xx Viv at JoieDeViv

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  16. You nailed it for me too! I love telling moms that they are the best mom ever, because everyone of us is. If I could, I would have put a clapping hands emoticon here too.. :)

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  17. Love this! You go on with that big ole high five! You deserve it! I think you're a great mom. At the end of the day Olivia isn't going to remember if she had a fully Organic food day ... She's going to remember that time she was good so her mom could finish a few things and mom rewarded her with a fun day at the park!

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